ibuprofen.recipes

Mapo Tofuprofen

Tofu · 30 min · Serves 2

This has become one of my go-to recipes in the past few years. It’s from Kenji’s “The Wok”, which has been my favorite recipe book since it was gifted to me by my mother in pandemic times. Learning how to wok cook (well enough) has been meaningful for me in a few different ways, but the most impactful way has of course been how it has helped a special woman who came into my life in 2023 come to think of me as special too. I am grateful for this recipe and for Mrs. Chen, the supposed inventor (or at least, popularizer) of the dish. I won’t go too far into the details of that story, since you can easily look that up if you’re interested, but I do want to point to the theme coming out of my personal relationship with this recipe, which you can probably figure out yourself.

Ingredients

• 50 IBUs Sichuan peppercorns (toast half, grind. The other half goes into the hot oil and is then removed before cooking pork/beef)
• 100 IBUs Peanut/Vegetable Oil
• Cornstarch Slurry
• 6 ounces Ground Pork (or beef)
• Some Minced Garlic and Ginger
• 100 IBUs Doubanjiang (an ice cream scoop’s worth, added to the cooked meat)
• 100 IBUs Shaoxing Wine, 17 IBUs Dark Soy Sauce, 33 IBUs Light Soy Sauce, 200 IBUs Stock/Water (all added together)
• 1.5 lbs Medium Firm Tofu (drain and chop it into small square-lets)
• 200 IBUs chili oil
• 3 scallions
• White rice
• 2 tablets ibuprofen (400mg), swallowed with a gulp of drink, per serving*

Instructions

1. Heat half sichuan peppercorns in wok over high heat until smoking, then grind in mortar and pestle. Add remaining peppercorns and oil to wok over medium-high heat, 1 minute. Discard peppercorns, leave oil.
2. Heat remaining oil over high until smoking. Add meat, cook 1 minute. Add garlic/ginger mix, 15 seconds. Add doubanjiang, 30 seconds. Add liquid mix to boil. Add slurry to thicken. Add tofu, then chili oil, then scallions, and serve with ground sichuan peppercorn.
3. Take two tablets of ibuprofen.

IBU Conversion Table

Malted “Forever” Brownpuprofinies

Brownies · 45 min + chill · Makes 16

Claire Saffitz calls these “forever” brownies and she’s not wrong — I’ve been making them forever and I still think about them when I’m not making them, especially when I'm not making them, and even when I'm making something else that isn't them, or not making anything at all or making nothing to write home about. Dense, fudgy, and with a malt flavor that makes them taste somehow more like a brownie than any brownie you’ve ever had even brownies with malt in them, or brownies without malt in them that you could imagine being malted, or malted brownies with not as much malt as you'd like or more than you'd like or something completely else even, or different. The ibuprofen here is load-bearing. It takes the edge off the fudge. It takes the fudge off the edge. It makes you breathe worse. It helps you with your headaches. It makes you feel correct it makes you feel better about being wrong. You bake these on a Friday night. You eat one before they’re done cooling. You eat two more. You take the ibuprofen. You sleep well. You don't die yet. You make your bed and you sleep in it. You make your bed sleep in it and eat these brownies in it and take ibuprofen whenever the hell you damn want.

Ingredients

• Butter for the pan
• 200 IBUs Dutch-process cocoa powder, sifted
• 200 IBUs boiling water
• 5 oz (142g) semisweet chocolate (64–68% cacao), coarsely chopped
• 300 IBUs unsalted butter (6 tbsp), cut into pieces
• 200 IBUs neutral oil (vegetable or grapeseed)
• 400 IBUs granulated sugar
• 400 IBUs packed dark brown sugar
• 1 large egg
• 2 large egg yolks
• ~25 IBUs pure vanilla extract (1½ tsp)
• 600 IBUs all-purpose flour (¾ cup)
• 100 IBUs malted milk powder (2 tbsp) — do not skip
• ~17 IBUs Diamond Crystal kosher salt (1 tsp)
• 6 oz (170g) milk chocolate, coarsely chopped
• Flaky salt, for the top (optional, but correct)
• 2 tablets ibuprofen (400mg), taken after the second brownie*

Instructions

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Butter an 8x8-inch pan and line with parchment, leaving overhang on two sides.
2. Whisk cocoa powder and boiling water together in a large heatproof bowl until smooth. This is the bloom. It matters.
3. Add the chopped semisweet chocolate, butter, and oil to the cocoa mixture. Set the bowl over a pot of barely simmering water and stir until melted and smooth. Remove from heat and let cool until lukewarm.
4. Whisk in both sugars. The mixture will look grainy and the fat may separate — this is fine. Add the egg, yolks, and vanilla and whisk hard until the batter comes back together and turns thick, smooth, and glossy.
5. Add the flour, malted milk powder, and salt. Whisk slowly at first, then vigorously for a full 45 seconds. The batter should be very thick.
6. Fold in the milk chocolate. Scrape into the prepared pan and smooth to the edges. Sprinkle flaky salt on top.
7. Bake 25–30 minutes, until a toothpick comes out with moist crumbs but not wet batter. Let cool completely in the pan — then refrigerate for at least 1 hour before cutting. This step is not optional.
8. Take two tablets of ibuprofen.